


if only the good die young (we'll outlast everyone)

by Gay_as_fuck



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Gotham Girls
Genre: Abuse, F/F, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-04-15 06:14:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4595970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_as_fuck/pseuds/Gay_as_fuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ivy has one rule: plants are more important than Humans. Harley has one rule: Mr.J is the most important person in the world. This is the story of how they came to change their rules.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ivy's rule

**Author's Note:**

> I deleted my original by mistake so i'm remaking this. I hope you enjoy this.

Poison Ivy had one rule: Plants are more important than humans. Ivy lived by this rule, she fought to give plants their rights and to turn Gotham city into a lush forest. She made sure that no humans had connection to her. That would change  
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Ivy smirked as her vines climbed up Wayne tower. "Now Gotham will learn that no one fights against poison ivy and her plants. Soon Gotham city will go back to being moth-" Ivy was cut off mid rant by a batarang to the arm. She gasped and turned her vines on the dark knight. 

"Ivy, surrender now and I'll spare you're plants". Batman threatened Ivy but she just laughed "I won't let you batman". One of Ivy's vines swiped at batman, he tucked and rolled to the left, slashing some of his cape on the vine's thorns. "Ivy, this is your last chance" Batman growled out. "Never dark knight!" 

Ivy used one of her large leafed plants to swipe across at the dark Knight, he was unable to dodge and was pushed across the the roof. Pulling himself up with a grunt he threw another batarang at Ivy. She blocked it with the same plant she had used to push batman across the roof. Batman pulled a smoke pellet out of his belt and hurled the pellet at the roof.

Ivy started to gag, but she dropped a tree seed using her powers to grow it at super speed. The tree took in all the smoke and cleared the rooftop, Ivy wrapped batman up as quickly as she could with her vines. "Now Batman you'll see how much better Gotham and then the world will be once I rule it. No, once the plants rule it". Ivy laughed loudly raising her head up to the sky.

Batman finished cutting the vine with his batarang and hurled it at Ivy. She was caught off guard and was pushed back across the roof. Batman took this time drop a sleeping pellet, gagging Ivy collapsed to her knees; then to the floor.


	2. Harley's rule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley's rule.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if these chapters are shorter than the reast

Harley Quinn had one rule: Mr.J was the most important person in the world. More than that Mr.J was going to let the whole world know that fact. And it was Harley's Job to do what he wanted her to do. She lived by that rule, but not for long.  
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Harley was guarding the Joker's fun house, she stood with her rubber chicken in hand, looking out into the dark of night. Out of nowhere a batarang hurled its self at Harley. She knock it down with her chicken, "No way you're gettin' in there B-man". Two more batarangs came at Harley, she dodged both but was scraped on the arm by one.

"Come out of the dark so I can Hit ya batman" Harley dared. Batman's fist jumped out of the dark and slammed Harley across the cheek. She was pushed back but countered with her rubber chicken. It slammed into batman's side causing him to gasp loudly. "See batman, there's a brick in this chicken". Harley laughed giving batman the time to catch his breath and throw a punch. 

Harley dodged again, swinging at the dark Knight again. Batman dodged again and send a kick to Harley's side. She flipped out of the way and frowned "You're ruinin' me and Mr.J's fun!" Batman scowled, "Joker is deranged, let me get him Harley" Batman argued. "Mr.J loves me and we're gonna show that to the world, you're the bad guy here bats". 

Harley chucked her chicken at Batman, watching him dodge out of the way. Batman pulled out a taser and pointed it at Harley, she knocked it out of his hands with a kick and slapped Batman's face. Batman stumbled back and Harley sent a roundhouse kick at his face. He caught her foot in hand. He quickly sprayed her with a knockout gas and tied her up. He stepped inside the fun house going after the Joker.


	3. the game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they meet, it's hardly love at first sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, these events are not in fact canon.

Due to a prison in star city being made unlivable they were moved to prisoners to it's sister city, Gotham. Blackgate was mostly full so they all got crammed into Arkham. Some of the high risk prisoners were forced to share a room. Harley and Ivy get roomed together.  
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"I've got it Red!" Harley yelled out suddenly, startling her roommate. "What Harley? and how many time do I have to tell you not to call me Red!" Harley, not phased at all by Ivy's outburst. "Let's tell stories!"

"Harley, why would we" Ivy sighed "I'm working on a plan to get myself out of here". Harley pouted and sat on her bed across from ivy's. Then she brightened up again, "Let's have a sleepover Red!" She exclaimed, jumping up; "I've spent almost all of every day for the last two months stuck here with you and you want to have a sleep over" Ivy seethed.

"Come on red, we can tell stories, braid each others hair, and talk about boys" Harley explained. Ivy, for lack of a better word, snorted, crossing her arms "You are not coming anywhere near my hair!"

"Ok" Harley smiled siting back down on the bed, taking Ivy's lack of negative response to the idea as a go ahead. "Where should we start" Harley beamed at Ivy who just scowled and went along. "I know, let's rate the people in the hall" Harley cartwheeled to the glass wall that opened into the hall. "Alright red, let's see, Mr.Freeze, hmm, 5".  
Ivy, not moving from her seat on her bed, "4". 

"Come over here Red, you can't see anythin'" Harley reasoned, "fine" Ivy replied, noticing that if she didn't comply she might not get to sleep. sitting next to Harley, watching down the hall. "Okay Red, next is twoface. The ugly half is a 2 and the nice half is a 8". "2 and 7 and 1/2" Ivy answered curtly, but getting a little more into Harley's game. Harley laughed "we can do halves?" 

"Sure we can, it's one to ten right so why not halfs?" Ivy defended herself, and Harley just smiled. "Of course Red!" Ivy, eager to get out of that conversation, noted the next person. "The riddler" Harley made a grossed out face "five". Ivy felt her lips tugging upwards. "I agree" Ivy smiled, unable to stop herself from smiling at Harley. "Catwoman is next, she's not a girl but I don't care. 8" Ivy had always looked up to Catwoman and weighed in "9". 

Harley smiled gleefully, "Next is Mista J" Harley smiled "15". Ivy was taken aback "I thought that we were using 1-10?" "We are" Harley continued dreamily, "but Mr.J breaks the scale".

Ivy scowled, "if anyone breaks the scale it's catwoman, the Joker is a 4". Harley scowled "YOU ARE JUST ENVIOUS THAT I HAVE MR.J AND YOU DON'T". Ivy sigh, not wanting to have Harley make her life any more horrible. "Alright, he's a 14" Harley smiled and jumped up "YIPPY!" Harley moved back over to her bed and sat down and Ivy did the same. the lights went off just as Ivy curled up in bed.

Just as Ivy was just about to fall back asleep when Harley spoke up again. "What do you think Mr.J would've rated me" Harley asked, Ivy answered through the dark; "I have never been in the mind of that deranged clown and never hope to be" before Harley could speak up Ivy continued. "But I'd rate you a 9" Ivy stated hoping to please Harley. "YAHOO" Harley called out and from down the hall someone, probably two face from the sound of it, yelled "SHUT UP".

"oops" Harley whispered and for some reason, that perplexed Ivy more than she could imagine, Ivy smiled.


	4. cabin fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy decides that if she has to spend ONE. MORE. DAY. with Harley she is going to kill the clown. Harley is unfazed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my own take on Poison Ivy's backstory and this is in no way canon.

Once every month the inmates of different halls all had group therapy together. The Joker was the only one who was excluded from this due to his high risk of danger and hurting the director of the session or another inmate.   
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A day had passed since Harley's's sleepover and Ivy had decided that if she had to spend one more day with Harley she might just kill the clown. Harley had been complaining all day for them to finish their sleep over because they didn't tell stories but wouldn't do it because it "had to be a night".

"What time is it Red?" Harley asked for what had probably been the 100th time that day. Looking out into the hall Ivy relayed the time to Harley. "It's 9:45, that means we have 45 minutes until lights out". Harley smiled, "Yay red, oooh you go first!". "Fine, what do you want to hear, and don't call me Red" Ivy snapped, Harley just tapped her chin. "Hmmm, how about your backstory!" "Fine" Ivy muttered.

"i grew up in a poor family, They were okay parents, I don't really care about them now but i loved them when I was a kid. There was this old fancy house near where we lived, it flowered with the prettiest blossoms. I would sneak out and watch them flower and bloom. That's how I learned to love Botany, I was so skilled in it I got to go to collage on full scholarship. My parents died when I was in collage" Harley interrupted.

"Get to the good stuff, about all your planty powers!" "I'm getting to that" Ivy seethed, "My lab partner was Dr. Joan Abby. We became instant best friends. she was always there by my side, some where along the line we fell in love" Ivy grunted and crossed her arms " I was much smarter than her and I guess she was envious of me. I had made a huge breakthrough, it would have changed the world for the better. All Joan cared about was fame and money."

Ivy gave a little laugh, "well she tried to kill me with a mix of plant toxins and take the money from the discovery. The plant toxin didn't kill me, it didn't even hurt me, the plant toxin made me fell more alive, it made me stronger!"

Harley laughed "Oh boy Red, that's so funny. What happened to her?" "Well i did to her what she failed to do to me, I killed that fucker". Harley laughed again, "Oh boy Red, what should I tell ya?" Before ivy could answer Harley filled her own question. "My back story!"

"I was wealthy, happy, and lived in the upperclass of Gotham. I may have been a little strange but i wanted to see how people tick. So i went to get a degree in messin' with people's minds. I love workin' with mental disorders. So Internin' at Arkham seemed like the best option! Mr.J wa-" "Wait!" Ivy exclaimed standing up. "You worked at Arkam! that means you know the best way out of here, what is it!"

Harley smiled "well there's a secret door in the group therapy room that leads into this weird-ass cave system. You can get anywhere in the city from there." Ivy roared "AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THIS PERFECT WAY OUT BECAUSE?"

Harley smiled "'cause it was more fun!"


	5. It's a habit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ivy and Harley have no idea but someone just jumped on their train out of arkham.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who's left kudos and especially to Trickie02 who commented

Catwoman has a few habits, some good, some bad. One of her worst ones is the fact that she'll jump into whatever you are doing without telling you. And she has spotted a boat she'd love to get on.  
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"RED! WAKE UP RED" Harley exclaimed, eyes bright. "Today I get to see puddin'", Ivy, still not fully wake, moaned and slured her words "wha?" Harley jumped up, "Group therapy day red, i get to see my puddin'". Ivy sat up and sighed, "You do know that the joker is not allowed to take part in group therapy right?" Harley looked at Ivy in horror, then ran over to the glass. 

"LET ME SEE MY PUDDIN'" harley pounded on the glass, barking out her order again and again. Ivy stood up and started to stretch, cracking her neck. "Relax Harley, It's not like that'll do any good" Ivy commented, sitting back down to braid her hair. Harley looked back at Ivy, a pout clear on the clown's face. "But red they said that I'd get ta see Mista J".

Ivy sighed, "It's just a trick to get you to agree, you know what happened last time they tried to bring you to group therapy. you insisted 'that if mr.j isn't there I'm gonna kill ya all'". Harley scowled, "Come on red, they lied to me, doesn't that make you mad?" finishing her hairdo Ivy replied, "not really i'm not the one they lied to". Harley huffed and sat on her bed, giving Ivy death glares. 

Ivy sighed, she just wanted to get rid of Harley but no plan she could come up with let her break out alone. Every plan involved getting Harley's help and being stuck with the clown. There was only one plan that could work that would get her to ditch the clown. That plan was to use Harley as a distraction and have her run down towards the front while Ivy slipped through the exit in the group therapy room. But Harley was sure to catch on.

Just then two guards opened the glass door; ivy stood up and strolled over to the guards while Harley stomped over, still pouting. They walked down the hall with the guards to both sides of them, the guard next to Ivy was a well built man in his 30s, he looked like he could hold back bane, without his venom of course. The guard that Harley got was very well built but nervous, he must not be used to this. newbie, Ivy smirked things might just work out for her.

Just as Ivy allowed herself the idea that her only Harley-less plan that could work might work Harley started to bolt. Ivy growled, now her plan could never work, at least she'd be ALONE. Ivy smiled at the idea as Harley's guard ran off to grab her. Ivy's guard grabbed Ivy's arm with a grip strong enough to bruise. "No way you're running away along with that clown". 

He pulled Ivy along as the second guard ran back up to him, pulling a yelling and crying Harley. "I found her trying to break into the Joker's cell, and before you ask I did try to shut her up". Harley was yelling loudly, annoying everyone in the hall way.

"LET ME SEE MY PUDDIN'". Ivy sighed, shushing Harley. "come one, i'm sure they'll let you see him sometime" Ivy commented, eager to get Harley to shut up herself. Harley sniffled "If ya say so red". Ivy, for the second time , pulled out a completely perplexing smile when Harley smiled at her. 'I'm just glad she's shutup' Ivy reasoned. not believing herself.


	6. worth breaking out of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They break out, with some unexpected help. Ivy can not lose Harley, and for some reason has started to stop wanting to be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry I haven't been updating

The Harley and Ivy boat was the most promising escape, though Catwoman could break out on her own it would be much more fun to watch these two try not to fall in love.It would be far to much fun.  
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Harley had never been a fan of group therapy, she much preferred single therapy so she could mess with the therapist and not have to deal with The riddler who always annoyed Harley with all of his riddles. She also wanted to see her Puddin' but because he was an extremely high security prisoner he wasn't allowed into group therapy. But the Idea of breaking out with Red made the whole thing better. 

"Sit next to me Harley" Ivy whispered and Harley bounced over to the two open seats. Ivy smirked as she noticed that only two guards were in the room, and at the door. That only ment that she had to scout out for the secret door. Harley was quick to get into an argument with the riddler and Ivy just locked her eyes on catwoman, who seemed to be even sneaker than normal, two breakouts on the same day could be easier but it could also mess things up, she knew from experience. Catwoman looked Ivy straight in the eye and gave a little snort, like she knew what Ivy was planning.

Ivy growled but Catwoman was not taken aback, she just gave a little purr and turned to talk with twoface. Ivy elbowed Harley and she yelped "Hey red what do ya think ya're doin'" she accused but Ivy shushed her, " Where is the secret door?" Harley snapped, careful not to raise her voice. Harley's face brightened "Oooh, that story red! the one about how I almost beat batman". Half of the people in the room groaned, including Ivy. This was not what she wanted, but Harley wasn't that dumb, so what was this sudden story all about?

"Well it was dark and Mr.J had already been beaten so i was all alone, ya know. So out of nowhere comes this fist and I grab it just in time, lucky me. Well he jumps down and I realize that it's b-man the guy who knocked up my puddin' real bad so what do i do. I grab my gun and I shot, boy he wasn't expectin' that but he dodges to the left of where two of my knocked out men are". Harley flung her arm out towards the door where the guards stood. Ivy was shocked that when she looked to the left she saw the door. Smiling at Harley's creativity, she suddenly had a problem. 

The door was very very near the guards, Unless she could find someone else to help her she would be caught, it only takes one guard to grab Harley and the other to grab her. Harley continued her story and Ivy tried to problem solve, how could she get away? Harley had finished up her story earning a few sighs of relief, a few claps, and a few laughs. The group therapist came in with a smile, "Hello everyone My name is Dr. Ma-" He was cut off by catwoman jumping up and sprinting at him. 

The guards flanked the doctor and tried to protect him from catwoman. She pushed them away from the doors and most of the villains sat in shock, or cheered for catwoman. Ivy smiled and grabbed Harley sprinting for the secret door. The riddler turned around and yelled "They are getting away". Two face and the riddler jumped up and tried to grab the two but Harley started to fight them. 

The guards wanted to move but catwoman kept them cornered, kicking and clawing when they tried to move away. "Red, little help here" Harley yelled, having a bit of trouble holding off the two super villains. Ivy took the wheel hatch on the door and pulled with all her might. It creaked and opened, Twoface made a lunge at Ivy but she kicked him away and ran into the tunnel. Harley flipped into the cave system and slammed the door shut in the riddler's face. Harley braced against the door and Ivy grabbed a near by steel beam from what looked to be an old construction site. 

After Ivy barred the door, Harley took a step away from it. People on the other side pounded against it. A brief question of catwman's actions came into Ivy's head but she pushed it aside, they had to get moving. "RED!" Harley exclaimed, pulling the other villain into a hug, "WE DID IT RED". Harley beamed, "I could kiss you right now red". Ivy blushed and quickly turned away. "We need to get out of here that's not going to hold forever Harls" Ivy snapped and the two rushed off into the caves. 

Ivy questioned her emotions, why did she bush when Harley said she might kiss her? 'oh, just because it'd be awkward' she reasoned, but was again not fully believing her self. She didn't have a crush on Harley, that would be just Impossible. The two found themselves far enough away from Arkham to stop and catch their breath. "We did it Red, We did the impossible".

No two villains had ever broken out together, it was always alone (though only two people could do that ) or a large group. No two villains had ever done it on their own. Joker and catwoman were the only two who could break out alone. Ivy smiled at Harley, "Yeah I guess we did"


	7. intruder alert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck, I'm so sorry it's taken me forever to update, i just had no idea where to go with this.

Catwoman had a few nice safe houses that were the envy of other thieves. She had let the location of one of them slip, she wasn't sure when, which came to the problem of sometimes coming home there to a villain sleeping in the plush bed.   
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Ivy sighed, it should be growing dark and it was just about time for the bat to start searching for them. After searching for the exit she wanted Harley called over to Ivy. "Hey Red do ya mind helpin' me open this manhole cover?" "Don't call me Red" Ivy snapped back, growing annoyed of having to remind the blond of that every day. "Why are there man hole covers down here anyways, we're in caves not sewers"

"I don't know, I don't even know where this manhole leads". Harley let out a full cackle at that, only to be met by Ivy's fury. "Wait, we've spent all this time looking for a random man hole that for all we know could lead us right into the police department?" Ivy seethed at Harley as the clown shrugged. "Didn't know it'd bother you that much". Ivy growled and went up to the man hole popping it open. 

Just as Ivy had guess, it was dark. The plant woman could make out a few broken street lights which really didn't give them any idea where they were. Harley pulled herself out of the hole and gave a little giggle. "Look at us red, it feels like we dug ourselves out of prison with a spoon". Ivy rolled her eyes at Harley trying to get over her anger. They needed to find a safe house and quick. 

"Harley, we need to find a safe house and I am not staying in a fun house, amusement park, or anything like that" Ivy dictated to the clown. Harley scrunched up her face and crossed her arms over her bright orange jump suits. "Fine but we're not stayin' in any of your safe houses either". Ivy grumbled something under her breath but didn't move to argue.

"We gotta ditch these prison clothes" Harley lifted her hands up, "I mean it's like we're walking oranges". She let out a snort, "Aren't you part orange Red?" Ignoring the second and third comments Ivy nodded her head. "I would take this off but i don't have enough plants or specialized seeds to make my outfit without freezing to death." Harley smiled, "so is that why you started wearin' more?"

ivy snorted, "I learned i can be just as stunning no matter what i wear. But yes have you ever gone out like that?" Harley started back on the issue of getting normal clothes, "We could steal some thin'". Ivy sighed, it was the better than any ideas she could come up with but she still didn't like the idea of wearing someone else's clothes she wondered if they would even fit her.

Harley closed her eyes and spun around the ally. "What are you doing?" Ivy questioned and after the clown stopped spinning she pointed to the apartment she ended up facing. "Pickin' who we're gonna raid". Ivy was satisfied with the answer and set to the fire escape by the building. Harley did a few flips up onto the third level as Ivy climbed up quickly. 

Ivy pulled the window up, snorting at how easy it was to open. Harley went in first, beaming at the large closet in the corner. "Come one, let's get dressed". Ivy went for the dresser whereas Harley bolted towards the closet. Ivy grinned as she opened the top compartment. There was some soft underwear which was much better than the uncomfortable ones she was wearing. 

She grabbed a few and just as she went to the next level Harley yelled out "Yippie". Ivy spun around to see Harley picking out a red fifties style dress, Ivy sighed. "Harley, you will stand out like a sore thumb in that, pick some thing else". The blond huffed, crossing her arms. " I let ya say no to the fun house so let me wear this Red". Ivy pressed her lips together, hard. "Fine".

"Yay, I love ya Red" Ivy again felt her heart skip a beat and tried to reason with herself 'I'm just angry, that's all'. Ignoring any part of herself that might scratch a hole in her logic she went back to picking out clothes. She settled for grabbing a black tank top, a green tee-shirt, a grey long sleeve with the bat symbol on it ( that one was just for kicks), dark jeans, a long dark blue skirt, and some light brown yoga pants.

Harley, who had still been looking around for something else in the closet yelled "Yay" again and held out a long green dress to Ivy. Ivy sighed and grabbed the dress, throwing it over her shoulder, knowing if she didn't wear it the clown would never shut up. Ivy went to the bathroom to go change and slipped on the green dress along with some comfortable underwear. She started looking around the room for ways to change her look. the less she looked like Ivy the better until the two of them could get to a safe house. 

She plugged in a curling iron and smirked as she saw a large makeup bag. She exited the bathroom and let Harley rush in, eager to try on her dress. Ivy admitted that the dress Harley had picked out for her did look really good as she examined herself in the mirror. Harley was out of the bathroom almost as quickly as she had entered it.

The blond spun and Ivy moved out of the way so Harley could look at herself in the mirror. Harley squealed and jumped up and down as Ivy packed the clothes she had first picked out in a purse she found in the closet. Harley followed Ivy after that as she made her way into the bathroom and pulled out the makeup kit. "Do ya know how to change our faces Red?"

Ivy sighed and answered "No, and stop calling me Red, i'm gonna try". Harley cut in "I do, I can show ya" "You are full of secrets aren't you Harley". Harley set to work, carefully covering Ivy and her own face with makeup. Ivy looked in the mirror and admired her face, "nice work Harley". Ivy noted that she didn't even need to curl her hair and so she unplugged the curler.

She went back into the bedroom they had broken into. "Where are we even gonna go dressed like this Harley?" Ivy scoffed, gesturing to her dress. Harley tilted her head and bounced her finger against her chin. "I Know" she exclaimed "We can stay in Catwoman's safe house, that's in the nice part of town". Ivy nodded her head and quickly slipped some flats onto her feet. 

the flats lay in the closet where she had grabbed the purse from when Harley had been changing. Harley tried a few but gave up noticing her feet were to big. she slipped her simple prison flats back on and started back towards the window. Both girls exited and started on their way uptown only to notice that they were very near Catwoman's apartment safe house.

The two made the quick trip there with no one seeming suspicious or noticing who Harley and Ivy were. The doorman at Catwoman's building welcomed the two, Harley almost let out a squeal when she noticed the doorman and was only stopped for making it by Ivy's elbow.

Catwoman's apartment sat on the top floor and the two gladly took the elevator instead of the stairs. Harley burst the door open which had been left carelessly unlocked. "HOME SWEE-" Harley was cut off when she noticed Catwoman sitting cross legged on the bed, the computer she must have been typing at forgotten and most importantly mask less. Catwoman's face was one of both shock and anger.

Harley, still at high volume, continued her out burst. 

"SHIT"


	8. the lion's den

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i know where this story is going now, it's a little more than halfway done.

Selina loves her mask, no one knows who she is and they can't find anything out about her that way. It's an unspoken rule, some villains are better with a mask. Catwoman is one of them, one of the people even batman couldn't figure out.   
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Selina had figured that the only way she'd hear from or about Harley and Ivy would be them going back to jail or committing a major crime. Maybe it might be the news talking about how the two were "Gal Pals" after a kiss. She was still waiting for the two to fall for each other.

She had not expected to have the two villains barge into her favorite safe house, the door of which she had forgotten to lock. The both were dressed to the nines with makeup covering their faces making them look like different people. It would have taken her a moment to recognize them if not for Harley's easy to remember voice. 

Selina was only slightly worried about Harley's rather loud swearing, the people knew the she paid well enough for them not to worry about anything that happened in her apartment. The thing she worried about most however was that Harley and Ivy had found out what she looked like, now they could find out who she was, something she did not want to happen. Of course the safe house was not in her name but with her face they could recognize her.

It also angered her that two villains had come to her safehouse, she had finally thought that she had solved the problem. She just wanted to do her next heist in peace and with two villains who needed to stay very low for a very long time with her would slow her down. The jewel she had her eyes on would be sold in a few days, she could't leave the two of them to do what ever they wanted.

The two could easily be lead back to her safe house here and that was not what she wanted. 

"Harley. Ivy. What are you doing here?" Selina asked with a bit of venom in her voice. Harley just smiled while her plant counterpart answered, "We needed a safe house and Harley", Ivy turned to glare at Harley, "refused to use one of mine so we were going to use this one". 

Harley gave a little huff and spoke up, "Well it's not my fault that red refuses to have fun in any of my safe houses, what's wrong with a carnival anyways?" Ivy gave a sigh, "Everyone knows that's where you hide Harley, and how many times do i have to say it, stop calling me Red!"

Selina has to hold in a little laugh, these two were amusing. They seemed just like the kind of people who would yell at each other during a heist and both get caught. The idea stuck in her mind, it might work. All she had to do was convince them to rob somewhere else, wait until they started yelling at each other and then escape before batman got there to go steal what she wanted.

Harley looked to Selina, "So, can we stay with ya?" The question surprised Selina, she figured that it would have been Ivy to ask. "I'll let you two stay the night until you get everything sorted out" She offered.

Harley beamed, jumping up and down, "can we order in, I've never got the chance to order in before" Harley exclaimed. Ivy went to close the door and then to thank Selina. "Thank you for letting us stay with you, Harley and I will figure out where to go soon". 

Selina nodded, going back to typing and researching the layout of the auction house she was planning to steal from. She also set to finding out where she could bring her new roommates to get rid of them. She settled her eyes on a department store, it seemed like a good place to steal from, plus there was a jewelry store there, she could grab a few things.

Harley had set herself on the floor, looking through a menu with Ivy, it was for one of Selina's favorite fancy restaurants. Selina was glad that Harley had wanted to order in, even if the two had changed their appearances it was still best to lay low.

Harley was eagerly examining all of the options where as Ivy had picked right away. Selina figured that she had time to stay up with the two and tell them about her plan, or the part of it they needed to know.

She slunk of the bed while the two were still looking at the menu, Ivy now angered by a list of smoothies. "It's evil, blending the poor things together Harley!" Selina sunk down between them, reaching her arms over each of their shoulders.

"So girls, how about a crime"


	9. dinner and a crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they talk over a nice dinner, they plan to do something not so nice

Even mobsters are aware that talking about crimes is done best over a warm meal. Catwoman decided that even though she disgraced her place as a mobsters she could still enjoy talking about breaking the law in between eating some nice smoked Scrod.  
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Harley looked up at Selina who had her arms wrapped around both her and Ivy. "What do ya mean?" Harley asked, her grin widening at the idea of having fun. Selina smirked, "Well there is one place I've wanted to hit up and now that you're with me we can take it down in style". Ivy looked up at Selina, raising one of her eyebrows. "And what is this place exactly?"

Selina moved back over to her bad and picked up her laptop, carefully closing her tab on the auction house. As she layed the computer down ontop of the menu Ivy gave a grumble. "A department store, why don't you just sneak in at night. No need for a big show". Selina sighed giving herself the time to come up with another lie. "Truth is i'm dying to do something but the real gem I'm going for doesn't come into Gotham for two weeks".

Ivy seemed skeptical but nodded slightly and looked back at the article their dark haired hostess had pulled up. "I think I recognize the name of that department store" Ivy muttered opening a new tab to type in the name with "controversy" and "Scandal" next to it. After a few minutes of reading two articles Ivy gave an angered snort. "I was right, these were the people who mowed down a section of grassland a few years back!"

Selina smiled, she hadn't known about that but it was a lucky mistake. It gave Ivy more of a reason to want to hit it and tear it down instead of stealing away with some nice jewels. Harley scrolled down the article looking for things about the mall, what kinds of stores it had, how big it was, where it was, ect. She perked up when she saw that they sold power tools. "I think I'm gonna like it."

Selina pulled the computer away and dropped it down on her bed. "So have you two picked what you want?" Harley exclaimed "Yippie" while her green skinned partner just sighed and nodded. "Even though I hate to support any place that makes smoothies", Selina ignored the comment and picked up her phone looking at the meals circled in red marker on the menu. 

"Hello this is Miss. Larsson and I'll have my regular along with some french fries and a turducken. I'll pay at the door and have it delivered, you have my address and my name by now if you already know my regular. And don't be late".

Selina pulled her phone away from her ear and looked at the expectant Harley who was bickering with Ivy. "I can't believe i let you order our joint meal. A turducken, that's just cruel to me Harley. I've had them and I hate the taste, it's such a mix of flavors and textures". Harley argued against that point "It'll be fun, what's not to love it's a chicken inside of a duck inside of a turkey. Just say the name Red and ya'll see why I love it; Turducken!"

Selina just slipped back onto her bed and went to her history and pulled up the building blueprints. the brunet couldn't focus due to the fact that she was paying attention to Harley and Ivy's argument about Turducken. The clown had started repeating the word with joy as Ivy sighed and shook her head in between comments about how she couldn't believe that she had escaped with someone this foolish.

The doorbell rang and Ivy went to open the door. The person there was a delivery woman holding out a bag full of food, "Here you go". Selina moved to pay the woman as the plant woman moved the food to the table with Harley sniffing the food from her side. "Pay no mind to them, and i'll pay you a bit extra if you forget them" Selina whispered and the woman nodded. 

Slipping a few bills out of her wallet she heard Ivy snap at Harley. "Wait until we've payed to eat. Help me find some plates as well" Harley gave a giggle at that comment, "We, she's paying red". Ivy grumbled under her breath, "Don't call me red" she snapped. The delivery woman nodded to Selina and left the apartment giving the three villains space to talk.

Selina's two guests had set the table and Harley was staring at the turducken while her mouth watered. "Alright ladies, dig in" the thief commented and Harley proceeded to hack at her and Ivy's meal with a steak knife. The plant woman was much more passive in starting the meal settling for eating a good amount of the fries and then splitting them into and even amount for herself and Harley.

Selina noticed and stopped herself from laughing and the move by taking a bite of her smoked Scrod. She gave herself a second to savor the taste and forget about everything but the taste of fish. After that second was done however she started to talk, aiming her fork at Ivy.

"So listen close ladies, here is the plan"

"I say the plan goes like this, we all sneak in and do a little shopping in the beginning of the day to learn where everything we want to steal from is. Then we exit the mall and drop whatever we actually bought back here, because if you want any clothing or dresses they might get ripped when we tear the place down after the second run" Selina started. 

Ivy nodded, giving a smirk at the part about tearing the place down. "Serves those killer right". Harley was focused on eating her turducken but commented anyways, "Then I guess we go back and steal whatever we want right?" Selina waited a moment, still chewing on her Scrod before answering. "Perfect Harley, we just need to make sure to bring our costumes when we drop things off"

Selina picked up her favorite wine which was sitting on the table and poured all three a glass. "To our first crime as a team, as...the gotham city sirens" she raised her glass which both Harley and Ivy clinked and said in unison. "To the Gotham City Sirens"


End file.
